Second Time Isn’t a Charm: The 10 Sequels You Wish You Hadn’t Paid to See November 17, 2009
Posted by style in : Style , trackbackRoss Bonaime, Staff Writer
This Friday, much to the chagrin of the many people who don’t want their eardrums to burst from screaming, The Twilight Saga: New Moon is set to be released, looking to be packed with not only vampires, but werewolves as well.
Also released this month was the sequel to cult classic Boondock Saints. Because of these unfortunate sequels, here are the top ten worst sequels of the decade.
10. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
When audiences went to go see the fourth film in this groundbreaking action franchise, they hoped for more of Indy killing Nazis and discovering lost treasure. Instead, Doctor Jones found himself in the middle of a broken family, with Shia LeBouf as his lost son, Indy finding alien lifeforms and even surviving a nuclear blast by hiding in a refrigerator. With the latest installment, Indiana went from a pulp comics action hero to a baby daddy having adventures too ridiculous to believe, even for Indy.
9. Big Momma’s House 2
It’s bad enough that Martin Lawrence is still making comedies, but for him to make a sequel to one of his most terrible comedies is even worse. In the film, for some reason, Lawrence once again uses his “big momma” suit to infiltrate a family and get information on the husband, who has created a terrible computer virus.
But surprise, surprise, the family becomes attached to Big Momma, making it hard for him to let go. It’s almost like Mrs. Doubtfire, if Mrs. Doubtfire wasn’t funny at all.
8. Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd
With this prequel to the classic Farrelly brothers comedy, we see how idiots Harry and Lloyd first met and when they were in remedial high school.
The problem with this is that, while in the original they were just, well, dumb and in the wrong place at the wrong time, they now are almost so dumb that it seems as if they have mental problems.
7. Legally Blonde 2: Red White and Blonde
Reese Witherspoon returned to the Elle Woods character that earned her a Golden Globe nomination with this terrible follow-up.
In the sequel, Woods moves to D.C. to work with a congresswoman to help stop animal testing. She even names the bill after her dog, naming it – get this – Bruiser’s Bill. The film teases a sequel where Woods goes to the White House. If Elle Woods becomes the first woman president, I’m moving to Canada.
6. Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2
Now no one expected this sequel to be anything redeeming, but it is too ridiculous to not have on this list. A group of superbabies team up to stop a henchman from taking over the world with a mind-control device. While it is a terrible film, it borders on “so bad it’s awesome.”
5. Bad Boys II
While the first Bad Boys was a relatively fun buddy-cop film, the second is almost like an exercise for Director Michael Bay to see how many explosions per second he can get away with.
The film is about explosions with something about the detectives, played by Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, trying to find a drug dealer. Bad Boys II is a ridiculous film from a ridiculous director.
4. Saw IV-VI
The first few Saw films were at least interesting. The first was a simple, intriguing look at what a person will do for their lives. Saw has become a joke and a jumbled mess rather than a shocking and scary series.
3. Star Wars: Episodes I-III
Remember how great the original Star Wars films were? Well, imagine if all of those great characters were children, there was the most annoying alien ever (Jar Jar Binks) and it turned out that Darth Vader was just a whiny kid. You can thank George Lucas for all that.
2. Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
The original Transformers was an absolute trainwreck, but the second one brought a new low to Michael Bay’s career in one of the most unintelligible scripts with random plot twists and ridiculous robots, in what is probably the worst film so far this year.
1. Pirates of the Caribbean 2 & 3
Never before have I seen such a good film go downhill so quickly. Watching the sequels to Pirates of the Caribbean was more like standing in line for the Disney ride than actually getting on it.
As if the second one wasn’t bad enough, the third featured characters who switch sides every five seconds, rocks that turn into crabs and a ghost of Orlando Bloom.
These sequels are a perfect example of a great film that became spread too thin and proved that too much of a good thing sometimes isn’t what audiences need.
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