In Bed with Billy: A letter from the other side of the bed April 19, 2010
Posted by Sonya Hudson in : Style , add a commentBy Billy Curtis, Sex Columnist
As my foster mother has always told me, “There are always three sides to a story: the stories from both parties involved, and then the truth, which usually lies somewhere in between.”
I am writing this column because I know that I am not the first to be in this situation, and I am even more certain that I will not be the last.
As my column has been there to help others get through the trying relationships and sexual disasters of their past and present, it has also hurt some.
And for that, even I must apologize. No one is ever correct all the time, and everyone has his or her demons to battle. Luckily, I have overcome a great deal of mine in the past couple of years.
But just this last Tuesday, I received an e-mail from an ex of mine, Mr. Madison, that expressed his disdain and disapproval of what I wrote in a past issue.
And since I get to share my side of the story each week in this column, I felt that he should have his story heard too, as he addressed his letter as showing “the other side of the coin,” or in this case, the other side of the bed.
A newspaper uses the elements of all involved to get the whole truth out to our readers, and I think it is only fair to get the whole truth out now.
After receiving Mr. Madison’s permission to print his response to my column, I felt that I was presented with a rare and very important opportunity. As most of us learn while growing up, life can be quite difficult.
While I will admit that I didn’t have the best coping mechanisms for the problems I dealt with when I was younger, I grew and, while becoming more selfless, I taught myself that these lessons of growth come with time and healing. This is just another one of those lessons.
In Mr. Madison’s response to my column “Go Long, Go Strong,” he explained, “As there are most certainly two sides to every story, I felt the need to respond to this piece. While I certainly agree with the author that we had our equal share of issues, his article personally held me responsible for the problem I admit that I was having.
“[Billy’s] stance postulates, ‘most cases of erectile dysfunction have nothing to do with the partner.’ While I will not argue this being true or false for the general populace, I would like to present some facts to the reader about our particular situation.
“First, as I mentioned, stress is a major factor in causing erectile dysfunction. So what can cause stress?
Just to throw out some completely random stressors: paying a lover’s rent and groceries; dealing with [his] bipolar, spoiled roommate; driving four hours every weekend to come see a significant other after a week of classes only to find that he is in emotional shambles again because he is incapable of taking charge of his own life or coping with a dysfunctional family.”
“Certainly if one would be unlucky enough to find themselves experiencing all of these things, there would be just cause for a dysfunction,” Mr. Madison concluded.
In every relationship, it is most important to remain as selfless as possible; this was a lesson I needed to learn the hard way.
The person Mr. Madison writes about in this response is the person I was — young, foolish and incapable of dealing. All are qualities I unfortunately could relate to at the time.
Either way, the relationship in question taught me how much of a selfish person I had become, and that I had become so involved with myself that there really was no point to being in a relationship in the first place. No wonder I put the blame all on him — I was perfect, wasn’t I?
Since then, I have witnessed many different one-sided relationships, and in the hopes that this message reaches them as well, I will say this.
If you are taking all the blankets, talking too much and never listening or leaving your partner hanging emotionally, you are just as bad as I was back then.
Not all relationships work out, but if you take a second and let go of the anger and frustrations you once had with a person from the past, you will most likely see that any person you let into your life will teach you something.
We change constantly as we grow; the person you are today may be vastly different from the person you once were. And you learn that it’s not always about you.
In the future, remember that relationships are meant to be equal, and ask yourself, “Am I still the person I was — happy and content with myself? Or have I lost what was once so important to me — myself?”
If you have lost yourself, I can promise you that you will never be happy with another person until you’ve found yourself again.
So strive to learn from your past mistakes and relationships — don’t ignore them; both have taught me what I know now.
I may not be in a relationship currently, but I know who I am now and what I want out of my life, not to mention what I want from a partner. Make sure you do as well.
BROADSIDE INTERVIEWS: Chris Rock & Tracy Morgan: Iconic comedians talk about their new film, growing older and family April 19, 2010
Posted by style in : Style , add a commentBy Ramy Zabarah, Staff Writer
In the heavily anticipated American remake of the 2007 British comedy Death at a Funeral, Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence, Tracy Morgan and many other well-known actors have come together to show the importance of family and acceptance, while still making us laugh.
Last week, I had the privilege of sitting in on a conference-call interview with both Chris Rock and Tracy Morgan, and I listened as they shared stories about the movie and their experiences while shooting it.
The plot of the film follows a group of family members and friends who come together to mourn the death of their patriarch, the father of the two main characters, Aaron, played by Chris Rock and Ryan, played by Martin Lawrence. It is here that problems arise, including the discovery that, prior to his death, their father was romantically involved with another man.
“The movie is about acceptance. This guy’s dad was gay, but he loved him to death,” Rock says. Morgan believes it’s more about family values. “Family keeps you honest, and they keep you grounded,” says Morgan. “It’s unfortunate that we all have to come together sometimes because somebody died.”
With a cast including such big names as Danny Glover, Lawrence, Zoe Saldana and Luke Wilson, shooting this movie was sure to be an interesting experience for everyone.
“It was fun seeing comedians,” said Rock when asked about how it felt to be involved with such an all-star cast. “When you start out, you see comedians all the time. You see them in the clubs, you see them in the comedy clubs, the deli, the diner. As you get older, people get families. They get careers. You don’t see nobody.”
Both Rock and Morgan. who were previous cast members on the famous late night sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live, agree that their experiences on the show have helped train them for their acting careers.
Death at a Funeral was released Friday nationwide, and is one of the only American films to be remade so soon after the original.
The lost titans of film April 19, 2010
Posted by style in : Style , add a commentBy Ross Bonaime, Staff Writer
There are some films that are widely considered to be the greatest classic dramas of all time.
Movies like Casablanca, The Godfather and Lawrence of Arabia are on most radars as some of the best. Yet there are many great dramas that mostly go unnoticed. Here are five forgotten classic dramas that everyone should know:
5. The Passion of Joan of Arc
It is hard to say what exactly is the greatest film performance ever, but it would be hard for that conversation to not include Maria Falconetti as Joan of
Arc.
This silent film is a portrayal of the trial of Joan of Arc and is one of the great landmarks of early cinema.
The focus on the expressions of Joan and the incredible use of close-ups to show her suffering makes the film beautiful, yet extremely difficult to watch.
4. Marty
Marty is the simple story of what some might call the lovable loser. Marty is a lonely, middle-aged butcher who lives with his mother. Every night he goes to try and find “the one” but always comes back empty-handed.
But right when he gets ready to give up, Marty meets a schoolteacher who is just as average as he is. The sweet connection that these two loners create is one of the greatest overlooked love stories of all time.
3. Children of Paradise
Filmed in France during the Nazi occupation, Children of Paradise was shot in dire circumstances.
Yet the breathtaking film about four men who fall in love with a courtesan has been called France’s Gone With the Wind.
Children of Paradise is a sweeping romantic story and, considering the hardships that occurred during its filming, it is incredible how fantastic the final product is.
2. The Rules of the Game
When a party is hosted at a large country home, a group of acquaintances get away, yet their secrets and affairs follow them.
The film is an epic masterpiece of pain and love that stands out in a year that also brought us such classics as Gone With the Wind, The Wizard of Oz and Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. This entangling saga of misplaced lovers, awkward romances and broken hearts is also one of the most perfectly directed films of all time.
1. A Trip to the Moon
Made over 100 years ago, this 14-minute film is possibly one of the most influential films of all time.
A Trip to the Moon has been called the first science-fiction film and one of the first to use both animation and special effects. Based loosely on novels of Jules Verne and H.G. Wells, director George Melies utilized many film techniques that are still used today.
The groundbreaking Melies died poor after his films were stolen, yet his legacy will live on in The Invention of Hugo Cabret, Martin Scorsese’s next film, in which Melies will be heavily featured.
Melies’ beautiful creation is still as shocking as it was over a century ago and shows that the great classics still influence the films of today.
FROM THE VAULT: Bullets and action guaranteed April 19, 2010
Posted by style in : Style , add a commentBy Jason Ulrich, Broadside Correspondent
Looking for a movie to rent that will say you’re both a worldly intellectual and an action fan? These movies tend to be few and far between with one noticeable gem coming out of Hong Kong in 1989. After having produced, directed and written some 20-plus movies, Hong Kong-born director John Woo made the most groundbreaking and career-changing of all his films to date.
The film, The Killer, not only went on to garner rave reviews and accolades, but it also influenced an entire new generation of action filmmakers like the Wachowski Brothers, Quentin Tarantino, Tony Scott and Michael Bay.
Woo’s films also weigh heavily on both first- and third-person shooter video games such as Max Payne and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare.
Using slow motion, quick cuts, long tracking shots and beautiful lighting to evoke a Catholic-style fall from grace, The Killer’s most beautiful negotiation is between its Western film influences and its Eastern storytelling archetypes, dating back to the sword-and-sandals action films of the ’50s and ’60s that Tarantino loves so much.
The story revolves around an assassin named Jeff (Chow Yun-Fat), hired by the Chinese mob for one last job. On the other side of the spectrum is Lee (Danny Lee), an undercover cop who refuses to give up once he catches Jeff’s scent.
Much of the story is simply the vehicle that Woo uses to help veer us from one amazing gun battle to the next. To throw in the Scorsese-style theme of guilt, Jeff blinds a beautiful singer in the first shoot-out and, after making her his mistress, promises to help get her strangely wavering sight back.
Eventually, Jeff and Lee are forced to team up against the mob in the final blood and bullet-soaked showdown, which puts every shootout from The Wild Bunch to The Matrix to absolute and complete shame.
On the movie’s cover, the audience is promised “ten thousand bullets,” which Woo certainly delivers. After making four more films, John Woo journeyed to America, directing such films as Broken Arrow, Face/Off and Mission: Impossible II, though he never again was able to align the stars in such a way that came close to his now-infamous Hong Kong action film legacy.
This film would later become one of the first 10 films immortalized in The Criterion Collection, which is a film preservation and distribution company, specializing in “important classic and contemporary films” presented in new “editions that offer the highest technical quality and award-winning, original supplements.”
More recently, Woo returned to his native land, filming his dazzling, historic epic take on Red Cliffs, a famous battle that took place prior to the Three Kingdoms period (220-280 AD).
The cycle seemed to come full circle in 2007 when Woo helped make Stranglehold, a videogame sequel to his final Chinese film of the ’90s, Hard Boiled, which many claim to be his only film to come near the glory of the bullet ballet known as The Killer.
Death follows its predecessor well: American remake lives up to the original April 19, 2010
Posted by style in : Style , add a commentBy Kayla Beardsley, Broadside Correspondent
I am not afraid to admit my hesitation before seeing the American re-make of the 2007 British comedy Death at a Funeral.
The thought “how could anything be funnier?” crossed my mind. However, this Neil LaBute-directed version kept true to its adaption, and kept the laughs going.
The new Death at a Funeral did what remakes are meant to do but rarely accomplish – it took out what didn’t work in the first one.
The never-ending fight scenes were shortened, the plot was tweaked just enough for the plot to make more sense, and writer Dean Craig’s one-liners about pop culture were consistently hilarious.
My biggest fear going into this film was the drugged and crazy character of Simon, played by Alan Tudyk in the original but this time taken over by James Marsden.
Tudyk was the part of the first film that never failed. Every time he entered the scene – the audience was already prepared to roll over laughing.
Marsden played this role in the remake and from his very first reaction to the pills, I was pleased.
As hard as it is to say, Marsden may have done a better job than his predecessor.
Peter Dinklage, who played the short lover of the dead father in both films, performed better in the original.
To add to this, Tracy Morgan’s constant screaming and spitting as he talks wore on the funny bone as the movie went along.
If you haven’t seen the original Death at a Funeral, I suggest seeing it before venturing into this one.
The performances are better, the shock value is stronger and the laughs are more prominent.
However, Chris Rock’s one liners and James Marsden singing to plants makes the new Death at a Funeral a fun film that should not be boycotted by your love of the first one.
Kaleidoscope secures Mason Day gig April 19, 2010
Posted by studentmedia in : Style , add a commentBy Pearson Jones, Asst. Style Editor
There can only be one. Five bands came to compete in George Mason University’s musical gauntlet, but only one would go onto the final stage.
Last Thursday, House of Echo, Rites of Ash, I Am the Kaleidoscope, Find the Focus and The Automatics shared two dueling stages in Dewberry Hall. The rules were plain and simple. The last band standing would be promised a gig of musical prominence at this year’s Mason Day fesitivites.
Plugged in and tuned up, the feuding bands met on Mason’s campus to determine who would open up for Cobra Starship during their Mason Day concert. In the end, I Am the Kaleidoscope was hailed the victor by three judges.
Dewberry Hall was far from being a packed house but the bands still performed like they had sold out Madison Square Garden. All the bands proved they had the necessary energy to keep up with a crowd as large as Mason Day’s.
I Am the Kaleidoscope’s presence, though, was the only one that wasn’t at risk of being eclipsed by an already well-known band like Cobra Starship.
I Am the Kaleidoscope was set to play in the third slot for the night and was considered to be one of the top choices along with other local favorite House of Echo.
The synergy between front man Khalid Gharzai and guitarist Eddie Fuentes resonated the presences of other power duos like Omar Rodriguez-Lopez and Cedric Bixler-Zavala of The Mars Volta.
The fast fret working of Fuentes along with Gharzai’s commanding voice made them unignorable even in the dimly lit Johnson Center hall.
I Am the Kaleidoscope will open up for Cobra Starship on April 22 at 8 p.m. in Lot L. Kaleidoscope will be performing on the smaller stage.
Battle of the Bands Take Two April 18, 2010
Posted by style in : Style , add a commentThere can only be one. Five bands came to compete in George Mason University’s musical gauntlet, but only one was chosen. Last Thursday, House of Echo, Rites of Ash, I Am the Kaleidoscope, Find the Focus and The Automatics shared two dueling stages in the Johnson Center, Dewberry Hall. The rules were plain and simple. The last band standing would be promised a gig to musical prominence.
Plugged in and tuned up, the feuding bands met on Mason’s campus to determine who would be opening up for Cobra Starship on Mason Day. In the end, I Am the Kaleidoscope was hailed the victor by three judges.
The venue was lacking in an attending audience but the bands still performed like they had sold out The Garden. All the bands proved they had the necessary energy to keep up with a crowd as large as Mason Day’s. I Am the Kaleidoscope’s presence though was the only one that wasn’t at risk of being eclipsed by an already well-known band like Cobra Starship.
Find the Focus, the acoustic based duo of Mason sophomores Spencer Wolf and Mark Cruz, opened up the event while late attendees were still trickling in. The subtle, chord progressing tunes the band had to offer were welcomed by some of their more familiar fans but left others unsatisfied. Their unplugged set was drowned out by the heavier performances of the four other rivaling bands.
The Automatics, headed by George Mason’s own Danny Oelkers, followed The Focus’ performance. Armed with the power of an electric guitar and the quick fret working of guitarist Janet Jelena, The Automatics set the tone for the rest of the night. Danny Oelkers was a crowd favorite as the front man jumped around the stage.
Winners of the event I Am the Kaleidoscope was next. The synergy between front man and lead singer Khalid Gharzai and guitarist Eddie Fuentes resonated the presences of power duo Omar Rodriguez-Lopez and Cedric Bixler-Zavala of The Mars Volta.
Fuentes danced around wildly
An Automatic Classic April 12, 2010
Posted by style in : Style , add a commentBy Patrick Wall, Style Editor
When history looks back on ’90s alternative rock, the word “fleeting” will likely define much of the genre’s music. The decade produced some incredible work, but not without its price.
Many bands released an exceptional breakthrough album, then failed to recreate that initial magic and spent the rest of their career in stagnation.
Albums like The Wallflowers’ Bringing Down the Horse and Hootie & the Blowfish’s Cracked Rear View still stand as the epitome of the decade — bands whose careers were so promising but whose continuing existence has moved from exciting to parody.
Despite all the mediocre bands and disappointing records that made up the burgeoning scene at the time, it took a truly talented band to show how it was done.
That band was R.E.M., and that album was 1992’s Automatic for the People.
In a career spanning nearly 25 years, the Atlanta, Ga. trio has charted more than a dozen songs and recorded 14 albums. Yet Automatic remains its triumph — high praise for a band many credit for creating the alternative rock genre.
Why? From start to finish, Automatic is brimming with the kind of emotional honesty and quality songwriting that is still held in high esteem.
“Hey kids, rock and roll/Nobody tells you where to go,” from the opening track “Drive” is a prime example, employing the kind of attitude that Nirvana built its early career around.
But where Kurt Cobain and company brought an aggressive “who cares?” attitude to their music, R.E.M. employed a disarming feeling of gloom.
The song’s quiet, finger-picked guitar lines play like the most wounded of feelings before flourishing into beautiful orchestration, thanks to the composing talents of Led Zeppelin bassist John Paul Jones.
Make no mistake — Automatic is an exploration of the group’s darker side. The album is filled with thoughts on grief and tribulation.
But instead of feeling trite, singer Michael Stipe crafted lyrics that are thoughtful and maybe even a little hopeful.
“Try Not to Breathe,” one of the highlights of the album, demonstrates this perfectly. “I will try not to worry you/I have seen things that you will never see/Leave it to memory me.”
Automatic is home to “Everybody Hurts,” one of the band’s signature songs, but it pales in comparison to much of the album’s other material.
This isn’t a slight against one the best tear-jerker ballads of the ’90s — the album is just that good.
That isn’t to say the entire album wallows in misery. “Ignoreland” takes a sharp bite at the politics of the time, alluding to the effects of Reaganomics and a right-wing administration.
“Man on the Moon” is a more playful track, fondly remembering the late comedian Andy Kaufman by asking if he’s “goofing on Elvis.”
In an era that created a blinding number of flash-in-the-pan artists, Automatic for the People was a reminder of what an innovative veteran band could accomplish.
Nearly 20 years after its release, the record stands as one of the seminal albums of its time, and a guidepost for artists looking to create honest music that will endure.
Kicking out the Tuesday Jams: Small turnout ends up ‘adventurous’ April 12, 2010
Posted by style in : Style , add a commentBy Pras Gustanto, Staff Writer
It was not exactly the ideal type of day for an outdoor jam session.
The afternoon was sunlit and windy, temperatures reached up to the 90s and the wind blew so strongly that hats and class papers were flying all over the place. Not the best conditions for a concert.
Nor was it the most intimate. The venue is located outside of the campus Starbucks, next to a dormitory staircase exit. Occasionally, the sound of students shutting the door would interrupt the flow of the music.
But for Addison Brown, concert chair for Tuesday Jams, the new venue is actually an improvement compared to the last venue inside Jazzman’s Cafe.
“Our turnout’s bigger here than in Jazzman’s,” Brown said. “Back there, there was very little recognition of us in that corner of the Johnson Center.”
Freshman communication major Will Clayton was the day’s performer. He played his guitar to an audience of scattered college students who were listening while tanning under the sun.
Among his repertoire were cover songs from Bon Iver, The Shins and Coldplay.
He also improvised through requests, occasionally joking about how he didn’t know all the chords. The set was less of a formal concert and more of a humorous conversation between Clayton and the audience.
Clayton himself didn’t intend to be serious. “Someone was supposed to play today, but I pathetically filled in their spot,” he said jokingly.
He also wanted some fun afternoon time. “I would’ve been watching television, so Tuesday Jams was somewhat of a more adventurous venture,” said Clayton.
Despite the hot weather and low turnout, Brown was pleased with Tuesday’s jam session. “It was great,” Brown said. “Not that big of an attendance, but that’s fine. We’ve still got kinks to work out so that we can better advertise this event.”
In Bed with Billy: Revisiting celibacy: Lessons they’ve learned April 12, 2010
Posted by Sonya Hudson in : Style , add a commentBy Billy Curtis, Sex Columnist
Sex is one of the most important things you will ever learn about: how to have it, ways to protect yourself from it and, essentially, how to enjoy it.
Last week, I became a teacher, and I don’t think I have ever been so proud of what I write in this column every week.
When teaching someone, it’s not every day that you actually learn something as well. But after receiving an e-mail from a friend describing the conditions I will soon dispense to you, I realized that I had not only learned from my mistakes, but I was helping those around me as well.
My year of celibacy was probably the most profound thing I have done for myself. (This column can be found billycurtis.wordpress.com and is entitled “My Year of Celibacy Ends .”)
It had meant so much to me. But what I would later understand and appreciate more is what my friends would learn from my celibacy.
Sarah was an extremely smart woman. I knew this because we shared a common love for both science and English, and had many conversations in the past ranging from Shakespeare to String Theory.
I didn’t really know what to expect as I opened an e-mail she sent me, as Sarah and I hadn’t spoken for maybe a month or so; because we had both been so busy lately.
I was extremely surprised when I read her first two sentences: “During your year of celibacy, I remember thinking that such a pact seemed completely ridiculous, but it made you happy, so I went along with it. I never understood why on earth someone would purposefully abstain from something as awesome as sex for no apparent reason.” I quickly began to see the reasons for this e-mail.
Sarah had fallen right into my old lifestyle, and as I continued to read the e-mail, I began to realize that my example had given her a new perspective on her life and sexual relationships.
It may have been for a slightly different reason, but in the end, it was all about Sarah’s fears. She went on to write, “I’m sure it won’t be easy at first — I’ve gotten so very used to using men for everything I can get out of them then discarding them out with the condom — but I know I will happier by the end of it.”
After I read this e-mail, I called her and reassured her that it certainly wouldn’t be easy, and like an alcoholic looking for a cheap bottle of booze, the urge to find someone to sleep with would return and crawl right into mind and bed.
But with her strength and the support of her friends, she could quickly learn how to identify and remain in a healthy relationship, where sex is something more than just a one night stand.
She left me with these kind words: “So, thank you in advance for invoking a need to hold myself to a higher standard.” And I don’t think I have ever felt like such an important person to my friends. It felt a hell of a lot better than sex. Well, maybe.
While I was being taught by a student, another one of my friends was learning another important lesson about sex and the power it yields. My friend Ashley had recently broken up with her boyfriend for about the 18th time, and she explained to me that they had another sit-down.
I was ready to start rolling my eyes when she said that they were going to try dating casually again to try and make things work, both in and out of the bedroom.
Then her casual dating partner tried putting the moves on her, asking “Do you want to have sex? Or maybe I could eat you out?”
As much as I hate to say it, I’ve been in the same place with an ex, (well, maybe not the eating-you-out part), but after a breakup it’s understandable for someone to want more of what they can’t have, even if it’s a just “for now” kind of thing.
But Ashley had quickly learned that nothing good ever gets started that way, and she said no. If he wanted it, he was going to have to wait.
It can be a quick fix, or it could be a quick break. Either way, if you don’t learn from your sexual behavior, you’ll be doomed to repeat all the horrible guys and mistakes you did in the past.
It’s easy to see the pattern. It’s not so easy to want to believe it. But when you recognize that it’s bad for you, and learn how to change it, well, what could be better?